making time for life...

so it seems as though my schedule continues to get more and more full - which means a lot of things.. 1st, I don't have as much time to spend "hanging out" and have to be more intentional about building relationships and spending time with people... 2nd, I have more of an excuse to come home an "crash" on the couch from exhaustion... and 3rd, i have less room for laziness in my life. no worries though, I am not having difficulty saying "no" to all the opportunities that come my way (such as becoming a substitute teacher!), as I have learned that to be a very important word here - otherwise I would be WAY overcommitted with everything I am asked to do... BUT - I have carefully selected some things to add to my weekly routine.

I know you are now in great suspense - "what is Stephanie doing with her time these days!?"
Well...
**I am continuing to teach Bible classes at Brassavola Bilingual School - which has proven to be a JOY in my life (who knew?). The kids are so full of LOVE and enjoy having a teacher who wants to play with them and takes interest in their own lives. The kids in this picture are the ones who have dedicated themselves to "teaching" me Spanish. :) (the kids are supposed to think that I can't speak Spanish so that they have to speak to me in English).
**I also tutor for a small group of 1st graders. Andrea, Elvert (in the picture), Paul, and Aldo each have such different personalities - and it is fun to see them come out as I try to teach them the sounds to the alphabet!
**I am working with a Honduran nurse in her clinic in El Pino on some fridays - which proves to be both educational and exciting.
**MTW work - we have business meetings every monday afternoon and are completing surveys for community development work in Armenia Bonita, a poor village by the La Ceiba airport, assisting with the medical mission team coming the middle of February and construction teams in March, and helping to lead worship for our monthly team worship.
**Recreation-ish stuff: I am involved with a Beth Moore Bible study that meets every Wednesday to have a time of discussion, watch the movie, and pray together with other missionaries. We have a monday night tradition of dinner and cards with young adults... and I attend our church's "culta de jovenes" for the youth on most Saturday nights. (and of course church every Sunday..)

So I am involved with all of these things, in addition to the never-ending battle against bugs, leaks, lack of electricity or water, worms in my...?, continuous filth in our apartment... oh, the joys of daily living.

The most important thing I am doing - the common bond between all of these things - is building relationships... well, maybe not with the bugs! ;) What a joy it is for me when I see fruit out of showing kindness or care to someone.. the way their face lights up.. the way I am trusted.. or at least building trust. I love having conversations with the single teachers about what matters in a dating relationship and marriage (ha, they all want to know why I'm still single!). I love going to a more personal level with people - talking about the heart.. sharing Christ.. telling them to trust God.. revealing our sin nature.. what a blessing it is to me to be able to enter into some incredible conversations and show Christ's love.. the opportunities never fail to arise when I'm least expecting it.
You know, I think that this week I have been more busy as I am getting used to my new schedule - but felt the BEST that I have felt -since before Christmas. Why is that? Instead of getting caught up in how much I am doing, and just being exhausted afterwards... I have been very intentional about exercising, spending time being silent and still, and digging deep into the Word of God. It seems like we can be soo busy with our obligations that we don't take time for the things that make life better. Take that time.. make it a priority. we find our life is in those little things.

Honduras Wildlife

From chickens and roosters to honduran men acting like animals.. there is always some sort of "wildlife" running around this city. The cows just like to hang out where ever... who knows how people keep track of them... I have seen them in the middle of streets, down allies, hanging out on bridges, at the beach, and in parks.
Horses wandering through my neighborhood - Naranjal.. we see them from time to time.. today they were grazing next to the gym. random.

frisky iguanas.. they get bigger than that! gross.

and who can forget flipper from Roatan? ;)

you know, just seeing pictures really doesn't do justice to the animal life around here.. you need to hear the cat cries that sounds like a baby crying, or the nights that every dog in Ceiba decides to talk to each other, or how the roosters have contests over who can crow the most. ;) believe it or not, I did get used to these unusual sounds. life is never boring here... that is for sure!

fear

I have heard that fear is: false evidence appearing real.
and what about real evidence appearing false
I am finding that every where I turn I face lies and deception - and find that I have to fight more and more to stand on God's word and His promises.

I am blessed to be a part of a Beth Moore Bible study on the patriarchs of the Bible - and have been struck this week by some of her words. She points out how those who God uses greatly seem to greatly battle fear. God had to keep telling Abraham, Jacob, and Joshua (to name a few) "Do not be afraid!" - we need to fear God more that what God has called us to. God doesn't promise us that we won't be scared to do what He has asked - especially since He doesn't always tell us what exactly we are doing before we set out.. but He does promise to be with us and that we will get there. When we have a holy fear that drives us to the Living God - we won't have to fear anything else.
So draw near to Him - and He will draw near to you.
It is my prayer for you and for myself that our Heavenly Father will be your magnificent obsession... your life's delight... the thrill of your life. That you will hunger to know Him more - and that He will call you out of your usual routine - out of your comfort zone - to take you where He wants you to go.

pure exhaustion

32 teenagers... 23 of which were chatty chicas. The retreat was a whirlwind of games, music, movies, cooking, late nights, early mornings, and lots of talking. It was complete with three discussion sessions, some amazing devotionals, and a crazy talent show.
Praise the Lord we didn't have any major problems - but we were prepared, as "The Enforcer" made frequent visits, reminding the kids that "he" would be around to take care of any trouble that may arise. Luckily, he wasn't needed, and therefore was only the source of many laughs.

I may be completely exhausted after this weekend - but it was such a blessing. I met some girls who have lived in Honduras almost all of their lives as Missionary Kids and was blown away by how they've grown up - for it was such a different experience from my own. I was encouraged by their hearts that sincerely seek to know and serve the Lord. I was reminded of the simple, yet amazing truth that the Lord, the creator of the earth, sky, and sea - desires to walk intimately with His children.. that He loves us unconditionally - and there is nothing we can DO to make Him love us more or less. what profound truths - what an incredible promise.
I hope that I will be able to continue to get to know these amazing girls... for I know that our Father in Heaven has great things in store for their lives.

The Lord was so good to us, working this week together more perfectly than we could have imagined or prepared for... definitely a success!

Here is an email we got from one of the mothers of the retreat:
"We've been hearing for the last two days every detail; the fun, the food, the skits, the teachings and it all sounded wonderful, truly blessed by our Lord. I'm so grateful to those of you gave of your time to serve the Lord by serving our teens. I have felt His joy in her description of it all. My daughter was so touched during the session on unconditional love and over the teaching on the need for silence to hear Him. As parents our greatest prayer for our children is that they would know Him and love Him, that they would want to pursue Him. My daughter broke down crying telling me about what God did in her heart and I am so grateful to all of you and to my Lord who answers prayer so abundantly."

prayer request!

This weekend we are hosting a country-wide missionary youth retreat. This means that 30+ kids, ages 13-18, from all over Honduras will be put in our care from Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon... and we will be in charge of all meals, sleeping arrangements, games, music, teaching sessions, discussion groups, safety... etc! With our theme being "treasures" - and our location a missionary house on the beach - we have been able to plan a lot of fun things to do, as well as some time to really go deep in the Word of God.
Please keep us in your prayers this weekend:
- for safety - for everyone traveling (some many hours) to get to and from the retreat, and for safety while we are on the retreat
- for the missionary kids, that they would have a great time with other kids of their own age (without arguments!) and that they come with teachable hearts
- for the leaders, that we would keep the Lord in the center of everything we do, and that He would be able to speak through us and use us to bless these kids lives
- for the parents, that they would have a restful weekend with (at least some) kids out of the house, and that they wouldn't worry about their kids

thank you so much!

**sorry I've been lame about pictures lately - I will definitely post some pictures of the retreat when we return!

the pep talk

Do you ever feel like God just does a "heart check" every once in a while - that makes you squirm and struggle to really, really decide where your allegiance lies? Are you willing to give up your family and your friends for Him?... Are you willing to give up your home and all that is familiar - for Him? C.T. Studd said it well, that if Jesus Christ be GOD, and died for me - there is no sacrifice too great for me to give for Him.

My answer was yes. and then...
...several weeks ago I couldn't imagine leaving La Ceiba - I had already decided that I would give up my family and my friends from home "for the Lord"... and I found myself now unwilling to give up Honduras and the relationships I've built here in Ceiba. I don't believe that the Lord asks us to be unattached to things around us, as relationships are central to life, but I do think that He wants to be first in our life, and He wants our whole heart. I have the unfortunate tendency to attach onto things that I am "doing for God", and somehow I let that thing come before God in my life.
I feel as though the Lord has to continually give me a heart check - to keep me in line - as I like to rely on myself and plan out how I will be safe and have a secure future. Trusting in the Lord is often scary, as His timing is perfect to reveal his plan, instead of being as early as I would like it to be... and so I often get ahead of the Lord, making my own plans.. and the Lord gently directs my steps, often down a different road than the one I was planning on. He is so faithful to keep His promises - and has proven trustworthy - even when I'm unsure of this new "plan" I have to adjust to. (I mean, if it were up to me and my plans, I would have been in physical therapy school right now - but look at all the amazing things I would have missed out on!)

There is new meaning to the proverb, "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding..." because it takes the Lord holding our whole heart, us looking to Him and acknowledging him in EVERYTHING - for Him to make our paths straight.

As the Lord has been teaching me about truly trusting my heart and my life to Him, God has been opening doors and providing opportunities for me to join Him in His work. I realize that it is then my responsibility to be able to see where God is working, and then to take the step to join Him there.
This is another area where I often get caught up... as this is the time when all of my inadequacies come to my attention to convince me why I can not possibly join in this work. Being the astute scholar, from the great US of A, it is hard for me to accept that being "ordinary, unschooled person" with a heart to serve the Lord is more powerful and effective than any amount of training I may get - because it is the Lord that is at work, not me.

And it is here, my friends, that I find myself once again... and the Lord, being ever faithful, reminds me once again that He is who He says He is, He does what He says He does - and I can trust in Him.

"Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God, who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new covenant..." 2 Corinthians 3:5-6

"All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for teaching, rebuking, correcting and instructing in righeousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:16-17

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

I guess what it comes down to is: do I believe that the Word of God is true?
you bet I do. and what a rock for foundation in every decision I have to make...

Today the Lord spoke to my heart - giving me a "pep talk" to remember who God is and that what He says is true.
My dear friend, Natalia, recently wrote this to me, "I was thinking this afternoon during that time how we are living for One - for God. And how that should make our decisions (theoretically?) so much easier and simpler. We need not consider anything/anyone else when making decisions but just live to please Him. I know life doesn't seem that easy - but that's just what I heard from God - don't worry about everything/everyone else... just Me."
It is a good reminder, as I am facing important decisions to stay in Honduras and be employed as a mentor and witness to the youth culture, or to return to the states to get more training (in nursing?)...

well, I assure you that I am seeking the Lord.. and His timing is perfect.
...doesn't that just drive you nuts! ;)

stuck

It has been a while since I've written anything - so I want to reassure you that I'm still here - getting involved with my work and reconnecting with friends after being gone for two and a half weeks.

Have you ever been in a position where you don't know what to do? The phrase "stuck between a rock and a hard place" seems to adequately fit the way I feel right now. I have before me so many options - to go home when my time is up with MTW and pursue nursing, be with my family and friends... or I have been invited to stay here and work in the clinic in Roatan... and I've also been invited stay here and be employed by a local ministry from a foundation out of the States to help begin a youth ministry in La Ceiba.
For many different reasons each option is very appealing... and I honestly do not know what to do. Verses keep coming to mind - such as Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" - but the problem is that I desire each one of these things. or.. Matthew 6:33 "seek first HIS kingdom and His righteousness..." or "for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also"... and Jim Elliot's famous words "He is no fool to give up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

I have always heard that God is faithful to open doors for us, and we have the responsibility to be faithful and obedient to step through that door. I would appreciate your prayers, that I would indeed be able to discern the Lord's calling, and I welcome any words of advice you may want to pass my way...

Happy New Year!

Wow, I can't believe it is 2006...
We had a special dinner last night with our MTW team and Erin's family that is visiting from Tennessee. Then we opened up our party to the community, and many friends came over to the Morey's house for desserts. It was a great time re-connecting with friends I haven't seen in a while. Don Julio even showed up as Santa Claus! :)
This past year has held so much - growth, adventure, trials, and triumphs - what an exciting journey it has been. Now we stand at the beginning of a new year - with opportunities and decisions always before us, and I pray that as you step forth into this coming year, that you trust in the Lord to direct each step and to be with you through the bad and good times ahead.

**If you ever want to talk more about anything I write on this website - please feel free to call or write an email... I would love to talk with you!

¡Feliz Año Nuevo!

home sweet home?

I had a fabulous time in Virigina......spending Christmas with family,

...and being able to see and spend time with good friends.
Now that I'm back in Honduras, I my heart pulled toward my loved ones in the US.

I have often heard the phrase, "home is where your heart is"... and now as I am back "home" in Ceiba - I realize even more that my home is not in one specific place - but with people that I have ties to. Is it possible for my dad's house in Virginia, and being with family and friends there, to feel like home - and then to come back to Ceiba with the other missionaries and my Honduran friends, and also feel like I'm home?

As God is continually teaching me that I have "family" all over the world in the body of Christ, I am also learning that my home is in Christ, and the best place I can be is in the center of His will. All over the world there are places and ways to serve the Lord - and to live and enjoy life... and while I have ties to specific places in the USA, and now in Honduras, my strongest tie is to the Lord, Jesus Christ.
I LOVE La Ceiba, and just a few weeks ago, I couldn't imagine ever leaving here - but the Lord is teaching me that I am an "extranjero" here - that this world is not my home - and my purpose for wherever I am at is to bring Heaven to Earth.
While I will always have a special place in my heart for Honduras - I have resolved in my heart that, if the Lord decides to call me to another place (like Africa.. China.. or even back to the USA), I will go.
It is so easy for me to get caught up in doing good things - and find myself so busy that I neglect my relationship with Christ... I don't take the time to be still, to listen, and to really lay my heart before the Lord. I didn't realize before that by seeing the need here and having such a passion for ministry here (which isn't a bad thing at all!) - that I was ready to make my own plans to stay and continuing "working for the Lord" - without trusting Him for each day. The time I spend here in Ceiba is not about me - or about the work that I can do... yet I have been focusing on MY life here in Ceiba more than on the throne of God. As I live with the realization that this world is not my home - and that I am an ambassador for the Lord - I know my eyes need to remain upon the Lord.
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth... but in heaven... for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" ( Matt. 6:19-21). My treasures are my relationships - which is also where my heart lies. And the MOST important and satisfying relationship we can ever have is with Jesus Christ - who will never let us down. Seek Him - for He is faithful to keep His promises to us! And when you find Him, you will know that you are truly HOME.

SURPRISE!

Yes, folks. For a limited time only, Stephanie is in the USA!

The Lord has blessed me abundantly this holiday season - and I am so thankful that I am able to be home for Christmas!

I'm sure you're wondering.. why did she come home from Honduras?! Well, when I entered Honduras I received a 90 day visa.. which expired on the 22 of December. At the end of the 90 days I am left with the option of buying another month to say in the country or traveling outside the country for at least 72 hours. I happened to find a very reasonably priced plane ticket (I think they were trying to get rid of the last ones..) and here I am! En Los Estados Unidos! I still can't believe it myself!

It has already been quite an experience.. not only adjusting to how different life is, and how COLD it is... but also surprising my family by walking into the house at 2:30am this morning(with then help of Jarrod - who picked me up from the airport, and Caleb - my "state-side" accomplice). How good it is to see everyone! I had a full day of traveling.. and have now been awake for over 24 hours to make this possible.. so I am definitely ready to crash!

Some things that are different for me now that I'm back in the States:
* its okay to drink from the faucet * I don't need to dip my clean dishes in bleach water * its okay to throw toilet paper in the toilet without worrying.. * I can drink a tall glass of milk that isn't straight from the cow! * I don't need to use a taxi to get around * what I have to use a seat belt in the car? * I pay for things in dollars instead of Lempiras * I can leave food out for a few minutes and not worry about ants * and of course.... English is the preferred language (this whole day I have been talking in Spanish to people who don't expect it.. but I can't help it, it is just what comes out first!)

Well... I wish you all a very merry Christmas. Remember that we have much to be thankful for this holiday season, especially that the Lord sent His Son to the earth to live perfectly and die to cover all our transgressions. Praise the Lord that He has defeated death and sits at the right hand of the throne of the Most High!
...so maybe it will be a white Christmas after all.

Roatan!

I returned today from Roatan, the largest of Honduras' three bay islands. I spent the past week there working in a free clinic, La Clinica Esperanza, for the "pobrecitos" of the island. I stayed with Miss Peggy Stranges, the nurse who started the clinic out of her kitchen 5 years ago, and it has grown so much that they are now in the process of building a hospital. Peggy is an independent missionary to Roatan - and completely trusts in the Lord to provide the money and the workers for the hospital as she remains faithful to her calling to provide quality healthcare to the islanders. In the new hospital they will have a birthing center and a small pediatric in-patient ward. They are constantly in need of volunteer healthcare workers to come alongside the Honduran doctors and nurses - to teach them how to better treat their wide range of patients (from pediatrics to geriatrics - to minor surgeries in the clinic.. to those with psychological needs... they treat EVERYTHING!)

We saw anywhere from 25-40 patients per day - with problems ranging from the common cold.. to hypertension and diabetes.. to scabies and lice.. to all sorts of wounds and infections. We generally saw the patients on a first come first serve basis (unless there was an emergency). The patients would line up early in the morning, and sometimes wait 4 or 5 hours to be seen. We charge 20 Lempiras (the equivalent of 1 dollar) for the visit and any medicines supplies they walk away with. I helped check in and triage the patients, clean and dress wounds, assist the doctor and nurse in various surgical procedures, and translate for the volunteer doc, nurse, or pharmacist that didn't speak Spanish. It was an incredible opportunity to serve the people who live in Roatan! I felt so important - and helpful - as the patients would look at me with big eyes, desperate for the doctor to understand what was wrong so they could be treated... hopeful that I could understand them and translate the problem to the doctor or nurse...

Roatan is an interesting place to visit - full of tourist places because of the constant presence of cruise ships and vacationers.. and places like West End and West Bay are gorgeous vacation spots.. but not too far away - there are areas like La Colonia Belfate or El Swampo (two of many on the island) that experience extreme poverty. While I was there, we found out that they haven't had any water in La Colonia for over a month! It was a hard realization for me, that as we were telling someone that they need to keep their wound - or whatever - clean.. using soap and water - that for most of them, it is a choice between rice and soap. When they come to the clinic, they put on their best clothes, which isn't saying much for the majority of people who came. I have never been in such a position in my life - the patients gave me such respect for skills that I don't have.. but the little I do know about healthcare is so much more than any of them.
This whole experience opened my eyes for how healthcare might look in a third-world country. The public hospital on the island doesn't even have running water in it. I am overwhelmed by how many needs there are.. and how the needs provide numerous opportunities to help, to educate, and to love people who are less fortunate that myself.

When I wasn't in the clinic working, I spent my time sitting in a hammock overlooking the water on Miss Peggy's porch reading (I completed 3 novels!)... snorkeling (yes, it was an AMAZING reef.. and it really does look like it in Finding Nemo when the reef drops off!)... playing with dolphins (you can be jealous)... and enjoying being out of the routine and busyness of the city life in Ceiba. I am coming away from this trip very refreshed and encouraged! I am so thankful I've had this experience as it is one that I will carry with me for the rest of my life!


...and who can forget a view like that! ;)

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas!

What an experience to live in a different culture and see their traditions for the holidays! I love all the similaries that we have - but I have to say that I am dying for cold weather! It just doesn't feel right to see Christmas lights, music, fake trees (because it is illegal to cut down and sell a pine tree in Honduras, as it is the National tree of Honduras).. to experiece Christmas programs and cantatas... but to be in 80 degree weather, wearing tanktops and running the air conditioning!

oh well - I don't know that I will be doing much more that dreaming of a WHITE Christmas.. but at least I have the movie here with me to remind me of home. :) I know that this Christmas season is full of new experieces - and opportunities to share the reason we celebrate with so many!

This picture was taken in church yesterday, just after the cantata. Tamy, me, Hannah, Erin, and Cesia are posing in front of our church's beautiful Christmas tree. They are all dressed alike because they are in the choir. ;)

Today we had a fabulous Christmas program at Brassavola! The kids were so excited to perform their songs and poems in English (to parents who speak Spanish, ha!). It was a crazy night - but overall successfull and definitely full of memories!

Understanding

Growing up, I often read a quote by St. Augustine that my mom had hanging on the wall. It said "Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand, that you may believe... but believe, that you may understand."
So many times it is hard to understand why things happen... and it is funny how when it is a good thing - we never question, "why did this happen to me?" We just open our arms and accept whatever good gift we have been given. But when something happens that we don't like, or didn't want to happen... it is so hard to just open our arms and accept it without questioning "why did this happen!"
One of the families on the MTW team in La Ceiba, the Guzmans, has to leave the field a year earlier than they had origionally planned. I am very sad they will be leaving just after Christmas, especially because Melissa has become one of my most trusted confidants here. Their family is a vital part of our team, and it is hard to imagine being here without them. Times like this make us question "why" - and search for answers to give our hearts some sort of solace.

I can think of all sorts of sayings - such as "hindsight is 20/20" - that speak about how we can see the good or the purpose for something AFTER it happens. However, I am reminded of St. Augustine's wise words - that while I don't know why something is happening.. I have to TRUST in the One who does know - and trust that He will reveal His greater purpose in His timing. Yes, it is always easier to see and accept things after they have happened - it is so easy to look back in our lives and make sense of the direction we have taken.. but we don't live in the past. We live now. So take a hold of St. Augustine's words... set your sights on Jesus - believe in Him just as a child so believes. In your belief, you will find so much more than answers, you will also experiece a peace that transcends all understanding.

on a lighter note... Here is a picture of Erin and I from our team worship today... yes, my "joyful noise" making is ever present here in Honduars as we lead our team in praise songs (and I sing for the kids at school!) :0

the joys of teaching...

Erin asked me today, "Did you think you would be coming to Honduras to be a teacher?" ...and my answer was a resounding "no!" There are many reasons why I didn't want to be a teacher... first, I procrastinate WAY too much and don't like to make a lesson plan until 10pm the night before class. Secondly, I am an introvert at heart (ok, so not really an introvert.. maybe a perfectionist is a better word.. and when I don't feel adequate for some task, I don't like to do it) and so I get nervous about teaching, and sometimes even think - "could I call in sick today?" Thirdly, school has ALWAYS come very easily to me.. so I've had more than one person tell me to never be a teacher. ha. perhaps I can't relate to the struggles the kids are having?

In all honesty, I DO have the same struggles that my students have - as I am trying to learn an understand a foreign language. I understand that it is hard to comprehend something while reading it outloud because they are focusing so much on making the correct sounds that do not exist in their own language. I understand the embarrassment for not wanting to speak and say the wrong word, the wrong verb tense, or the wrong pronunciation. I understand how good encouragement and a word of praise feels. .. and I love the kids.
I feel completely inadequate to teach these kids - and I have SO much to learn about how to teach English (how to form the sounds with their mouths, how to read, how to write) to the kids I am tutoring - but the Lord has been so faithful to give me the grace I need to face each day. Because of Him I am able to get up every morning and go to school, walk into the classroom full of confidence and say "Good Morning!" - and then expect the proper response of "Good morning, Miss Stephanie" in return.

I am always thinking of ways to make the class more interactive (yet maintain control), how to determine if they are comprehending what I am teaching them, and how to reinforce the lesson as it applies to their lives. The older students test me in areas of discipline, the younger students struggle to understand English, and the other teachers are always watching me to see how I handle their class. I am so blessed to teach the kids during the "orientation hour" - we have already talked about how God created the world, how He loves us and wants us to love Him and talk to Him, how when we disobey God - we sin - and this separates us from God because God is perfect... and how God sent Jesus to the earth to take away our sin so that we can be together with God. This week we talked about Christmas - and that God sent Jesus to the earth as a baby... I have so much freedom being the "Orientation teacher" - that teaches Bible - because I don't have a curriculum that we are following.. we just talk about whatever I have planned. I don't have anyone standing over me, asking for my lesson plans (Praise the Lord) - but the administration has confidence in me that the classes will always include interactive and multi-sensory learning, and that they will be taught a solid message of who God is and why it matters to us. I don't know if their confidence in me is misplaced - as I have no official training to teach these kids. My classes have been very successful thus far, but that is only as a result of a lot of prayer beforehand - and the Lord's hand guiding me to prepare and deliver each lesson. I can't imagine teaching alone.
This little girl, Alma, is in 4th grade and somehow made it this far without being able to read. We work together in English and in Spanish to improve her understanding of words and her abilities to make the sounds that are so different from sounds in Spanish. Although I walk away from our times together wondering if it helped her at all - each time we are together, she opens up more and more.

Overall - I still can't believe I am a "teacher".. this is NOT what I had planned on doing when I came here - but I love it. I love the kids - I love being able to hug them, tell them about Jesus, and make them feel special. I love being able to meet and hang out with the older girls in the high school... and being able to talk to the teachers and show them I care about their lives outside of teaching. This environment is not where I expected, nor wanted to be in - I thought, "in Honduras I will work with people who don't have homes and can't stay healthy because of the bacteria in the water;" however, this is the door the Lord has opened for me -and its an incredible opportunity to help educate the future leaders of this country.
Being flexible is one of the major things I have learned - and continue to learn - and while I can plan my life, the Lord directs my steps. I just have to be ready to allow Him to lead my steps down roads that were never in my plans... knowing that as I delight myself in the Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart (Psalm 37:4).

Rio Cangrejal

Here are a couple fun pictures from our morning at the rio Cangrejal. Erin and I went to the river with two other missionary families, the Guzmans and the Noonans. We had a good time swimming and being out in the sun!
I closed my eyes and heard the sound of rushing water.. and was automatically reminded of the Shenandoah River.. but this river is flowing down from the mountains and has an incredibly strong current. I was awe struck by the beauty of the river, the HUGE rocks, and the jungle all around us.
God's creation declares the glory of the Lord...

what's important?

I am so blessed to have come from the United States, from an educated and prosperous family. Living here in Honduras, I have been struck over and over again by what is necessity vs what is comfort - as there are SO many differences between the US and here. I see that no matter where we are in life - we will always want more. The other day, I was sitting on my bed talking to Erin and I said, "I wish we had a DVD player." And then it struck me... children right outside my door didn't eat ANYTHING that day, they don't have a house, they don't have a bed, they don't have a couch, they don't have a TV, they don't have movies.. WOW. There is SOO much that we take for granted. so much.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am living in a third-world country - and that the majority of people have very little here. The average income for a family in Honduras is $850.00 a year, with over fifty-four percent of the people living below Honduras' own poverty line. Twenty two percent of the population does not have adequate sources of clean water and twenty-nine percent do not have access to health care. The teachers who are very well off make $9,000 a year. While things are much less expensive here, the whole standard of living is SO different. I write these facts as a reminder to myself of WHERE I am living.. where the Lord has called me to be.
When I am not working at Brassavola, I spend my time in relationships and "earning the right to be heard" with the Hondurans here. As I have been building trust, the Hondurans have been more and more honest with me about how they view North American missionaries. I am not sure that I want to write what all that I have learned or heard.. however, I must say that living somewhere with the title "Missionary" brings so many preconceived ideas with it. People think of someone who will give handouts - who will help out poor people materially. The Hondurans will take whatever we will give them... but when it comes to matters of the heart and the soul - they don't trust the missionaries. The natives here watch the "extranjeros" - or foreigners - in everything that we do - and they see the missionaries living in the best parts of town with the rich people, going out to eat frequently at American restaurant, and then saying that we are "poor" (which is true for US standards, BUT not at all for the people here).
I have struggled with the question "what is a missionary" since I've been here. Time and time again I've come back to the idea that a missionary shares LIFE with people - living among them, getting to know their needs, their hearts, their souls. How can we expect to impact people if we are not willing to live as they do? How can we expect them to let us into their lives unless we live life side-by-side with them? God doesn't tell us that in following Him that we are guaranteed all of the comforts we experience in the United States. Why aren't we living in the little town we want to impact? Am I impacting the people I am living around? Jesus said, "if anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his live for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?" (Luke 9:23-25).
In considering my life here - and considering all the stuff that I have in the United States, just sitting there... for what? Jesus said, "do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:33)
My "stuff" in the US is almost like a safety net for me (that I will have STUFF and money to go back to when I return) - but Jesus reassures me not to worry about my life or what I will eat or drink - about my body or what I will wear.. but to SEEK FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things (that I worry about like my future job, husband, place to live) will be given unto me as well (Matthew 6:25-33).
God wants us to TRUST Him completely - without a safety net - and it is only when we are holding on to God instead of our family, our house, our cars, our money, or our comfort that we really allow God to have the FREEDOM to use us. God doesn't guarantee us a comfortable life - nor does He necessarily ask us to give up all we have - Paul wrote that He learned to be content in plenty or in want - SO where is our heart, is it in Christ or in comfort? How much are we holding on to all that we have? If Jesus asked you to take all that you have and give it to the poor, and then go and follow Him - would you do it?
The last thing I want to do is make anyone feel bad about what they have or what they want - but this is what the Lord has been laying on my heart this week to share. I am being challenged to consider truly where my treasure is... and also to consider how to be a good steward of ALL that the Lord has blessed my life with. I am faced daily with people whose only possession is the smelly shorts and shirt they are wearing, children who go to school to learn but do not have teachers who know how to teach... and so much more. I am so grateful for all that I have, all the opportunities that I have been given and that I can choose from... so what to choose...

todo eres Tu, Jesus.

"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life" (1 Tim 6:17-19)

Honduran Elections

Today was the Honduran election day... and we are still awaiting news of who won the presidency. It is against the law to have any meetings today (I guess so that you don't sway votes) - so we didn't have church. Instead, Erin and I went out to the Gochez's house (Norman, Cesia, y Paola) - and ate lunch with them.

Afterwards, we went to vote with them. What a fun experiece that not many people have! We were able to go in to the school where they are registered and watch them vote. After they voted, they had to dip their pinky finger into ink so that they couldn't vote again under a different name.
It almost felt like a party - because there were so many people there.. greeting each other and selling food to eat.. I am so glad that we were able to go with them!

Afterwards, we took a walk around Ceiba, ending up at the beach near zona viva. We stayed there until the sun had almost set - and then walked home. Cesia and I had some very meaningful conversations about our lives and what we believe... and I am reminded that I need to be ready at any moment to give an account for the HOPE that I have - and for the REASON that I live the way I do.

yo vivo para Ti.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am ridiculously full! We had a huge thanksgiving dinner with Americans and Hondurans alike - we began the day thinking that 20-25 people would come do dinner.. and the final head count was 36 people! It was such a blessing to find this "family" away from my family. I miss my family - especially now, as my sister is in labor with my nephew.. but I have found such community, acceptance, and love here.. and for that I am very thankful!

First week of class...

What an adventure these past few days have been! With my first week of classes complete - I am walking away with many lessons. I wonder if the other teachers realized that I am not a teacher by profession, nor have I EVER taught a class before. :) When I walk into the classroom, and all the students stand up and say "Good Morning, Miss Stephanie..." and then the class is mine to control.. what a task! But classroom management is nothing compared to the task of making sure students who barely speak English can comprehend what I am talking about and are actually LEARNING. I have really stepped out of my comfort zone - as I sing (loudly, while the teacher is listening :/) with the kids to make sure they stay with me and pronunciate words well. They are all so sweet - and I look forward to getting to know them as well as I can. This week I talked about how God created the world and everything in the world - and how He loves us very much and wants to talk to us and for us to love Him and talk to Him back.
This whole experience has really brought me to my knees as I am constantly learning how to best deal with each unique class in each of the grades, to communicate with the students, and involve them in learning. The Lord has been so faithful to meet me in my weaknesses and insecurities. My natural tendency would be to back out - as I would much rather work with kids one-on-one - but what an incredible opportunity to teach over 70 kids in EACH grade - from all different backgrounds - about God and what it says about Him in the Bible!
I pray that with this class - God's word would touch the hearts of the children and that they would understand how God wants to be involved in their lives.

"Let your light so shine
that they may see your good works,
and glorify your Father who is in heaven."
~ Matthew 5:16