the joys of teaching...

Erin asked me today, "Did you think you would be coming to Honduras to be a teacher?" ...and my answer was a resounding "no!" There are many reasons why I didn't want to be a teacher... first, I procrastinate WAY too much and don't like to make a lesson plan until 10pm the night before class. Secondly, I am an introvert at heart (ok, so not really an introvert.. maybe a perfectionist is a better word.. and when I don't feel adequate for some task, I don't like to do it) and so I get nervous about teaching, and sometimes even think - "could I call in sick today?" Thirdly, school has ALWAYS come very easily to me.. so I've had more than one person tell me to never be a teacher. ha. perhaps I can't relate to the struggles the kids are having?

In all honesty, I DO have the same struggles that my students have - as I am trying to learn an understand a foreign language. I understand that it is hard to comprehend something while reading it outloud because they are focusing so much on making the correct sounds that do not exist in their own language. I understand the embarrassment for not wanting to speak and say the wrong word, the wrong verb tense, or the wrong pronunciation. I understand how good encouragement and a word of praise feels. .. and I love the kids.
I feel completely inadequate to teach these kids - and I have SO much to learn about how to teach English (how to form the sounds with their mouths, how to read, how to write) to the kids I am tutoring - but the Lord has been so faithful to give me the grace I need to face each day. Because of Him I am able to get up every morning and go to school, walk into the classroom full of confidence and say "Good Morning!" - and then expect the proper response of "Good morning, Miss Stephanie" in return.

I am always thinking of ways to make the class more interactive (yet maintain control), how to determine if they are comprehending what I am teaching them, and how to reinforce the lesson as it applies to their lives. The older students test me in areas of discipline, the younger students struggle to understand English, and the other teachers are always watching me to see how I handle their class. I am so blessed to teach the kids during the "orientation hour" - we have already talked about how God created the world, how He loves us and wants us to love Him and talk to Him, how when we disobey God - we sin - and this separates us from God because God is perfect... and how God sent Jesus to the earth to take away our sin so that we can be together with God. This week we talked about Christmas - and that God sent Jesus to the earth as a baby... I have so much freedom being the "Orientation teacher" - that teaches Bible - because I don't have a curriculum that we are following.. we just talk about whatever I have planned. I don't have anyone standing over me, asking for my lesson plans (Praise the Lord) - but the administration has confidence in me that the classes will always include interactive and multi-sensory learning, and that they will be taught a solid message of who God is and why it matters to us. I don't know if their confidence in me is misplaced - as I have no official training to teach these kids. My classes have been very successful thus far, but that is only as a result of a lot of prayer beforehand - and the Lord's hand guiding me to prepare and deliver each lesson. I can't imagine teaching alone.
This little girl, Alma, is in 4th grade and somehow made it this far without being able to read. We work together in English and in Spanish to improve her understanding of words and her abilities to make the sounds that are so different from sounds in Spanish. Although I walk away from our times together wondering if it helped her at all - each time we are together, she opens up more and more.

Overall - I still can't believe I am a "teacher".. this is NOT what I had planned on doing when I came here - but I love it. I love the kids - I love being able to hug them, tell them about Jesus, and make them feel special. I love being able to meet and hang out with the older girls in the high school... and being able to talk to the teachers and show them I care about their lives outside of teaching. This environment is not where I expected, nor wanted to be in - I thought, "in Honduras I will work with people who don't have homes and can't stay healthy because of the bacteria in the water;" however, this is the door the Lord has opened for me -and its an incredible opportunity to help educate the future leaders of this country.
Being flexible is one of the major things I have learned - and continue to learn - and while I can plan my life, the Lord directs my steps. I just have to be ready to allow Him to lead my steps down roads that were never in my plans... knowing that as I delight myself in the Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart (Psalm 37:4).