home sweet home?

I had a fabulous time in Virigina......spending Christmas with family,

...and being able to see and spend time with good friends.
Now that I'm back in Honduras, I my heart pulled toward my loved ones in the US.

I have often heard the phrase, "home is where your heart is"... and now as I am back "home" in Ceiba - I realize even more that my home is not in one specific place - but with people that I have ties to. Is it possible for my dad's house in Virginia, and being with family and friends there, to feel like home - and then to come back to Ceiba with the other missionaries and my Honduran friends, and also feel like I'm home?

As God is continually teaching me that I have "family" all over the world in the body of Christ, I am also learning that my home is in Christ, and the best place I can be is in the center of His will. All over the world there are places and ways to serve the Lord - and to live and enjoy life... and while I have ties to specific places in the USA, and now in Honduras, my strongest tie is to the Lord, Jesus Christ.
I LOVE La Ceiba, and just a few weeks ago, I couldn't imagine ever leaving here - but the Lord is teaching me that I am an "extranjero" here - that this world is not my home - and my purpose for wherever I am at is to bring Heaven to Earth.
While I will always have a special place in my heart for Honduras - I have resolved in my heart that, if the Lord decides to call me to another place (like Africa.. China.. or even back to the USA), I will go.
It is so easy for me to get caught up in doing good things - and find myself so busy that I neglect my relationship with Christ... I don't take the time to be still, to listen, and to really lay my heart before the Lord. I didn't realize before that by seeing the need here and having such a passion for ministry here (which isn't a bad thing at all!) - that I was ready to make my own plans to stay and continuing "working for the Lord" - without trusting Him for each day. The time I spend here in Ceiba is not about me - or about the work that I can do... yet I have been focusing on MY life here in Ceiba more than on the throne of God. As I live with the realization that this world is not my home - and that I am an ambassador for the Lord - I know my eyes need to remain upon the Lord.
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth... but in heaven... for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" ( Matt. 6:19-21). My treasures are my relationships - which is also where my heart lies. And the MOST important and satisfying relationship we can ever have is with Jesus Christ - who will never let us down. Seek Him - for He is faithful to keep His promises to us! And when you find Him, you will know that you are truly HOME.

SURPRISE!

Yes, folks. For a limited time only, Stephanie is in the USA!

The Lord has blessed me abundantly this holiday season - and I am so thankful that I am able to be home for Christmas!

I'm sure you're wondering.. why did she come home from Honduras?! Well, when I entered Honduras I received a 90 day visa.. which expired on the 22 of December. At the end of the 90 days I am left with the option of buying another month to say in the country or traveling outside the country for at least 72 hours. I happened to find a very reasonably priced plane ticket (I think they were trying to get rid of the last ones..) and here I am! En Los Estados Unidos! I still can't believe it myself!

It has already been quite an experience.. not only adjusting to how different life is, and how COLD it is... but also surprising my family by walking into the house at 2:30am this morning(with then help of Jarrod - who picked me up from the airport, and Caleb - my "state-side" accomplice). How good it is to see everyone! I had a full day of traveling.. and have now been awake for over 24 hours to make this possible.. so I am definitely ready to crash!

Some things that are different for me now that I'm back in the States:
* its okay to drink from the faucet * I don't need to dip my clean dishes in bleach water * its okay to throw toilet paper in the toilet without worrying.. * I can drink a tall glass of milk that isn't straight from the cow! * I don't need to use a taxi to get around * what I have to use a seat belt in the car? * I pay for things in dollars instead of Lempiras * I can leave food out for a few minutes and not worry about ants * and of course.... English is the preferred language (this whole day I have been talking in Spanish to people who don't expect it.. but I can't help it, it is just what comes out first!)

Well... I wish you all a very merry Christmas. Remember that we have much to be thankful for this holiday season, especially that the Lord sent His Son to the earth to live perfectly and die to cover all our transgressions. Praise the Lord that He has defeated death and sits at the right hand of the throne of the Most High!
...so maybe it will be a white Christmas after all.

Roatan!

I returned today from Roatan, the largest of Honduras' three bay islands. I spent the past week there working in a free clinic, La Clinica Esperanza, for the "pobrecitos" of the island. I stayed with Miss Peggy Stranges, the nurse who started the clinic out of her kitchen 5 years ago, and it has grown so much that they are now in the process of building a hospital. Peggy is an independent missionary to Roatan - and completely trusts in the Lord to provide the money and the workers for the hospital as she remains faithful to her calling to provide quality healthcare to the islanders. In the new hospital they will have a birthing center and a small pediatric in-patient ward. They are constantly in need of volunteer healthcare workers to come alongside the Honduran doctors and nurses - to teach them how to better treat their wide range of patients (from pediatrics to geriatrics - to minor surgeries in the clinic.. to those with psychological needs... they treat EVERYTHING!)

We saw anywhere from 25-40 patients per day - with problems ranging from the common cold.. to hypertension and diabetes.. to scabies and lice.. to all sorts of wounds and infections. We generally saw the patients on a first come first serve basis (unless there was an emergency). The patients would line up early in the morning, and sometimes wait 4 or 5 hours to be seen. We charge 20 Lempiras (the equivalent of 1 dollar) for the visit and any medicines supplies they walk away with. I helped check in and triage the patients, clean and dress wounds, assist the doctor and nurse in various surgical procedures, and translate for the volunteer doc, nurse, or pharmacist that didn't speak Spanish. It was an incredible opportunity to serve the people who live in Roatan! I felt so important - and helpful - as the patients would look at me with big eyes, desperate for the doctor to understand what was wrong so they could be treated... hopeful that I could understand them and translate the problem to the doctor or nurse...

Roatan is an interesting place to visit - full of tourist places because of the constant presence of cruise ships and vacationers.. and places like West End and West Bay are gorgeous vacation spots.. but not too far away - there are areas like La Colonia Belfate or El Swampo (two of many on the island) that experience extreme poverty. While I was there, we found out that they haven't had any water in La Colonia for over a month! It was a hard realization for me, that as we were telling someone that they need to keep their wound - or whatever - clean.. using soap and water - that for most of them, it is a choice between rice and soap. When they come to the clinic, they put on their best clothes, which isn't saying much for the majority of people who came. I have never been in such a position in my life - the patients gave me such respect for skills that I don't have.. but the little I do know about healthcare is so much more than any of them.
This whole experience opened my eyes for how healthcare might look in a third-world country. The public hospital on the island doesn't even have running water in it. I am overwhelmed by how many needs there are.. and how the needs provide numerous opportunities to help, to educate, and to love people who are less fortunate that myself.

When I wasn't in the clinic working, I spent my time sitting in a hammock overlooking the water on Miss Peggy's porch reading (I completed 3 novels!)... snorkeling (yes, it was an AMAZING reef.. and it really does look like it in Finding Nemo when the reef drops off!)... playing with dolphins (you can be jealous)... and enjoying being out of the routine and busyness of the city life in Ceiba. I am coming away from this trip very refreshed and encouraged! I am so thankful I've had this experience as it is one that I will carry with me for the rest of my life!


...and who can forget a view like that! ;)

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas!

What an experience to live in a different culture and see their traditions for the holidays! I love all the similaries that we have - but I have to say that I am dying for cold weather! It just doesn't feel right to see Christmas lights, music, fake trees (because it is illegal to cut down and sell a pine tree in Honduras, as it is the National tree of Honduras).. to experiece Christmas programs and cantatas... but to be in 80 degree weather, wearing tanktops and running the air conditioning!

oh well - I don't know that I will be doing much more that dreaming of a WHITE Christmas.. but at least I have the movie here with me to remind me of home. :) I know that this Christmas season is full of new experieces - and opportunities to share the reason we celebrate with so many!

This picture was taken in church yesterday, just after the cantata. Tamy, me, Hannah, Erin, and Cesia are posing in front of our church's beautiful Christmas tree. They are all dressed alike because they are in the choir. ;)

Today we had a fabulous Christmas program at Brassavola! The kids were so excited to perform their songs and poems in English (to parents who speak Spanish, ha!). It was a crazy night - but overall successfull and definitely full of memories!

Understanding

Growing up, I often read a quote by St. Augustine that my mom had hanging on the wall. It said "Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand, that you may believe... but believe, that you may understand."
So many times it is hard to understand why things happen... and it is funny how when it is a good thing - we never question, "why did this happen to me?" We just open our arms and accept whatever good gift we have been given. But when something happens that we don't like, or didn't want to happen... it is so hard to just open our arms and accept it without questioning "why did this happen!"
One of the families on the MTW team in La Ceiba, the Guzmans, has to leave the field a year earlier than they had origionally planned. I am very sad they will be leaving just after Christmas, especially because Melissa has become one of my most trusted confidants here. Their family is a vital part of our team, and it is hard to imagine being here without them. Times like this make us question "why" - and search for answers to give our hearts some sort of solace.

I can think of all sorts of sayings - such as "hindsight is 20/20" - that speak about how we can see the good or the purpose for something AFTER it happens. However, I am reminded of St. Augustine's wise words - that while I don't know why something is happening.. I have to TRUST in the One who does know - and trust that He will reveal His greater purpose in His timing. Yes, it is always easier to see and accept things after they have happened - it is so easy to look back in our lives and make sense of the direction we have taken.. but we don't live in the past. We live now. So take a hold of St. Augustine's words... set your sights on Jesus - believe in Him just as a child so believes. In your belief, you will find so much more than answers, you will also experiece a peace that transcends all understanding.

on a lighter note... Here is a picture of Erin and I from our team worship today... yes, my "joyful noise" making is ever present here in Honduars as we lead our team in praise songs (and I sing for the kids at school!) :0

the joys of teaching...

Erin asked me today, "Did you think you would be coming to Honduras to be a teacher?" ...and my answer was a resounding "no!" There are many reasons why I didn't want to be a teacher... first, I procrastinate WAY too much and don't like to make a lesson plan until 10pm the night before class. Secondly, I am an introvert at heart (ok, so not really an introvert.. maybe a perfectionist is a better word.. and when I don't feel adequate for some task, I don't like to do it) and so I get nervous about teaching, and sometimes even think - "could I call in sick today?" Thirdly, school has ALWAYS come very easily to me.. so I've had more than one person tell me to never be a teacher. ha. perhaps I can't relate to the struggles the kids are having?

In all honesty, I DO have the same struggles that my students have - as I am trying to learn an understand a foreign language. I understand that it is hard to comprehend something while reading it outloud because they are focusing so much on making the correct sounds that do not exist in their own language. I understand the embarrassment for not wanting to speak and say the wrong word, the wrong verb tense, or the wrong pronunciation. I understand how good encouragement and a word of praise feels. .. and I love the kids.
I feel completely inadequate to teach these kids - and I have SO much to learn about how to teach English (how to form the sounds with their mouths, how to read, how to write) to the kids I am tutoring - but the Lord has been so faithful to give me the grace I need to face each day. Because of Him I am able to get up every morning and go to school, walk into the classroom full of confidence and say "Good Morning!" - and then expect the proper response of "Good morning, Miss Stephanie" in return.

I am always thinking of ways to make the class more interactive (yet maintain control), how to determine if they are comprehending what I am teaching them, and how to reinforce the lesson as it applies to their lives. The older students test me in areas of discipline, the younger students struggle to understand English, and the other teachers are always watching me to see how I handle their class. I am so blessed to teach the kids during the "orientation hour" - we have already talked about how God created the world, how He loves us and wants us to love Him and talk to Him, how when we disobey God - we sin - and this separates us from God because God is perfect... and how God sent Jesus to the earth to take away our sin so that we can be together with God. This week we talked about Christmas - and that God sent Jesus to the earth as a baby... I have so much freedom being the "Orientation teacher" - that teaches Bible - because I don't have a curriculum that we are following.. we just talk about whatever I have planned. I don't have anyone standing over me, asking for my lesson plans (Praise the Lord) - but the administration has confidence in me that the classes will always include interactive and multi-sensory learning, and that they will be taught a solid message of who God is and why it matters to us. I don't know if their confidence in me is misplaced - as I have no official training to teach these kids. My classes have been very successful thus far, but that is only as a result of a lot of prayer beforehand - and the Lord's hand guiding me to prepare and deliver each lesson. I can't imagine teaching alone.
This little girl, Alma, is in 4th grade and somehow made it this far without being able to read. We work together in English and in Spanish to improve her understanding of words and her abilities to make the sounds that are so different from sounds in Spanish. Although I walk away from our times together wondering if it helped her at all - each time we are together, she opens up more and more.

Overall - I still can't believe I am a "teacher".. this is NOT what I had planned on doing when I came here - but I love it. I love the kids - I love being able to hug them, tell them about Jesus, and make them feel special. I love being able to meet and hang out with the older girls in the high school... and being able to talk to the teachers and show them I care about their lives outside of teaching. This environment is not where I expected, nor wanted to be in - I thought, "in Honduras I will work with people who don't have homes and can't stay healthy because of the bacteria in the water;" however, this is the door the Lord has opened for me -and its an incredible opportunity to help educate the future leaders of this country.
Being flexible is one of the major things I have learned - and continue to learn - and while I can plan my life, the Lord directs my steps. I just have to be ready to allow Him to lead my steps down roads that were never in my plans... knowing that as I delight myself in the Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart (Psalm 37:4).

Rio Cangrejal

Here are a couple fun pictures from our morning at the rio Cangrejal. Erin and I went to the river with two other missionary families, the Guzmans and the Noonans. We had a good time swimming and being out in the sun!
I closed my eyes and heard the sound of rushing water.. and was automatically reminded of the Shenandoah River.. but this river is flowing down from the mountains and has an incredibly strong current. I was awe struck by the beauty of the river, the HUGE rocks, and the jungle all around us.
God's creation declares the glory of the Lord...

what's important?

I am so blessed to have come from the United States, from an educated and prosperous family. Living here in Honduras, I have been struck over and over again by what is necessity vs what is comfort - as there are SO many differences between the US and here. I see that no matter where we are in life - we will always want more. The other day, I was sitting on my bed talking to Erin and I said, "I wish we had a DVD player." And then it struck me... children right outside my door didn't eat ANYTHING that day, they don't have a house, they don't have a bed, they don't have a couch, they don't have a TV, they don't have movies.. WOW. There is SOO much that we take for granted. so much.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am living in a third-world country - and that the majority of people have very little here. The average income for a family in Honduras is $850.00 a year, with over fifty-four percent of the people living below Honduras' own poverty line. Twenty two percent of the population does not have adequate sources of clean water and twenty-nine percent do not have access to health care. The teachers who are very well off make $9,000 a year. While things are much less expensive here, the whole standard of living is SO different. I write these facts as a reminder to myself of WHERE I am living.. where the Lord has called me to be.
When I am not working at Brassavola, I spend my time in relationships and "earning the right to be heard" with the Hondurans here. As I have been building trust, the Hondurans have been more and more honest with me about how they view North American missionaries. I am not sure that I want to write what all that I have learned or heard.. however, I must say that living somewhere with the title "Missionary" brings so many preconceived ideas with it. People think of someone who will give handouts - who will help out poor people materially. The Hondurans will take whatever we will give them... but when it comes to matters of the heart and the soul - they don't trust the missionaries. The natives here watch the "extranjeros" - or foreigners - in everything that we do - and they see the missionaries living in the best parts of town with the rich people, going out to eat frequently at American restaurant, and then saying that we are "poor" (which is true for US standards, BUT not at all for the people here).
I have struggled with the question "what is a missionary" since I've been here. Time and time again I've come back to the idea that a missionary shares LIFE with people - living among them, getting to know their needs, their hearts, their souls. How can we expect to impact people if we are not willing to live as they do? How can we expect them to let us into their lives unless we live life side-by-side with them? God doesn't tell us that in following Him that we are guaranteed all of the comforts we experience in the United States. Why aren't we living in the little town we want to impact? Am I impacting the people I am living around? Jesus said, "if anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his live for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?" (Luke 9:23-25).
In considering my life here - and considering all the stuff that I have in the United States, just sitting there... for what? Jesus said, "do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:33)
My "stuff" in the US is almost like a safety net for me (that I will have STUFF and money to go back to when I return) - but Jesus reassures me not to worry about my life or what I will eat or drink - about my body or what I will wear.. but to SEEK FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things (that I worry about like my future job, husband, place to live) will be given unto me as well (Matthew 6:25-33).
God wants us to TRUST Him completely - without a safety net - and it is only when we are holding on to God instead of our family, our house, our cars, our money, or our comfort that we really allow God to have the FREEDOM to use us. God doesn't guarantee us a comfortable life - nor does He necessarily ask us to give up all we have - Paul wrote that He learned to be content in plenty or in want - SO where is our heart, is it in Christ or in comfort? How much are we holding on to all that we have? If Jesus asked you to take all that you have and give it to the poor, and then go and follow Him - would you do it?
The last thing I want to do is make anyone feel bad about what they have or what they want - but this is what the Lord has been laying on my heart this week to share. I am being challenged to consider truly where my treasure is... and also to consider how to be a good steward of ALL that the Lord has blessed my life with. I am faced daily with people whose only possession is the smelly shorts and shirt they are wearing, children who go to school to learn but do not have teachers who know how to teach... and so much more. I am so grateful for all that I have, all the opportunities that I have been given and that I can choose from... so what to choose...

todo eres Tu, Jesus.

"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life" (1 Tim 6:17-19)

Honduran Elections

Today was the Honduran election day... and we are still awaiting news of who won the presidency. It is against the law to have any meetings today (I guess so that you don't sway votes) - so we didn't have church. Instead, Erin and I went out to the Gochez's house (Norman, Cesia, y Paola) - and ate lunch with them.

Afterwards, we went to vote with them. What a fun experiece that not many people have! We were able to go in to the school where they are registered and watch them vote. After they voted, they had to dip their pinky finger into ink so that they couldn't vote again under a different name.
It almost felt like a party - because there were so many people there.. greeting each other and selling food to eat.. I am so glad that we were able to go with them!

Afterwards, we took a walk around Ceiba, ending up at the beach near zona viva. We stayed there until the sun had almost set - and then walked home. Cesia and I had some very meaningful conversations about our lives and what we believe... and I am reminded that I need to be ready at any moment to give an account for the HOPE that I have - and for the REASON that I live the way I do.

yo vivo para Ti.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am ridiculously full! We had a huge thanksgiving dinner with Americans and Hondurans alike - we began the day thinking that 20-25 people would come do dinner.. and the final head count was 36 people! It was such a blessing to find this "family" away from my family. I miss my family - especially now, as my sister is in labor with my nephew.. but I have found such community, acceptance, and love here.. and for that I am very thankful!

First week of class...

What an adventure these past few days have been! With my first week of classes complete - I am walking away with many lessons. I wonder if the other teachers realized that I am not a teacher by profession, nor have I EVER taught a class before. :) When I walk into the classroom, and all the students stand up and say "Good Morning, Miss Stephanie..." and then the class is mine to control.. what a task! But classroom management is nothing compared to the task of making sure students who barely speak English can comprehend what I am talking about and are actually LEARNING. I have really stepped out of my comfort zone - as I sing (loudly, while the teacher is listening :/) with the kids to make sure they stay with me and pronunciate words well. They are all so sweet - and I look forward to getting to know them as well as I can. This week I talked about how God created the world and everything in the world - and how He loves us very much and wants to talk to us and for us to love Him and talk to Him back.
This whole experience has really brought me to my knees as I am constantly learning how to best deal with each unique class in each of the grades, to communicate with the students, and involve them in learning. The Lord has been so faithful to meet me in my weaknesses and insecurities. My natural tendency would be to back out - as I would much rather work with kids one-on-one - but what an incredible opportunity to teach over 70 kids in EACH grade - from all different backgrounds - about God and what it says about Him in the Bible!
I pray that with this class - God's word would touch the hearts of the children and that they would understand how God wants to be involved in their lives.

"Let your light so shine
that they may see your good works,
and glorify your Father who is in heaven."
~ Matthew 5:16

faithful in the little things

HOW easy it would be to complain about life here - about the mold that grows everywhere, the guys that grab at you as they pass on their bikes, the constantly humid or rainy weather, the culture that is so different from everything we have ever known..
...and yet the Lord reminds me that when it rains in our lives - when we are tired, depressed, lonely, or sad - that He is ever close. And in those times God continues to call us to be faithful in the little things He has given us.

This morning started out like any other morning, waking up to find the rain pouring down, the power still out, and leaks flooding our apartment. I did not want to go anywhere.. and was fed up with cleaning up the water on the floor. I seriously considered playing hook-y from language school - however I grabbed my largest umbrella and set out walking the 7 (mas o menos) blocks to school. Little did I know that we were in a "red alert" - which closes most schools - and the water was flooding the colonias and houses so much that most of the teachers couldn't come to school anyways. Instead of turning around and going home to my nice, warm, dry bed - I continued walking downtown to check up on Paola (and the condition of her house), who was working in her family's tourist kiosk.
I went there with the intention of saying "hi" and asking about her family in attempt to show her that I care about her and her family. However, because of the rain, there wasn't much business, and Paola and I ended up having one of our most meaningful conversations while sitting in the little kiosk. We ended up reading the Bible together and sharing a devotional from "The Daily Bread" - and that opened the door for a discussion on our spiritual gifts and women's roles in the church.

Not too much later, I enjoyed lunch with Paola, Norman, Erin, y Oscar - and then spent some more time with some other friends, Cesia and Tammy - who also came to the kiosk in the afternoon. I have loved coming to know my new friends - and I see how they have such a heart to love, know and serve the Lord in their lives... but they have received such shallow teaching of the scripture.

I am so grateful that the Lord has opened doors for me to talk about the Bible and go deeper in my relationships with these girls. I can't believe I would have missed out on my morning with Paola if I had let the rain keep me from venturing out of where I was comfortable. Staying inside today would have been a lot easier - it would have been a lot more comfortable - and I would have less laundry to do. But what an amazing day it ended up being - despite all of the rain.

I am here in La Ceiba to serve the Lord in every aspect of my life - but the only way the Lord is able to use me is for me to be faithful in what He has already brought into my life. When we are faithful to continue pouring into the people and the jobs that the Lord has placed us in, this then allows Him to open more opportunities to join God where He is working.

"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ." 1 Peter 4:10-11

I want to encourage you - that no matter where you are, no matter how trivial your task may seem (be it caring for your children, praying for a friend, studying for test, visiting someone who is sick) - be diligent, and work "as unto the Lord" - for God will use you in unexpected ways and reward you for your faithfulness to Him.

rain rain go away

So we are approaching our third day of continuous rain... Erin and I have given up on catching all the leaks and trying to prevent mold from growing until the rain stops. This rain floods the streets and houses so often, I have never seen anything like it! It is always an adventure showering or cooking or really doing anything - because the power and water are continually being disconnected with all this rain. Being the good student that I am, however - rain in the streets up to my knees isn't enough to keep me away from language school... and no light to do homework by is easily remedied by a candle and my laptop screen. Yes, I'm dedicated.. ;) (I know I'm looking incredible good in this picture.. haha, oh well - I felt like I needed to give you a visual aid)

Honestly, the rain hasn't been all bad - as it has demanded that I stop running around everywhere, and allowed for time to rest and spend quality time in the Word. As I am preparing to begin teaching the Bible to students in a non-Christian school, it is my prayer that whatever I teach would be from the overflow of my heart and that the kids would be able to understand what I am talking about. I pray that these classes would be led by the Spirit and that through all that I do, I will point the kids to Jesus Christ. Please continue to be in prayer for me and the students - that my transition from "administrator" to "teacher" would go smoothly, and that the students would be receptive to the teaching!

Children's songs...

Behold
what love
the Father has bestowed on us
that we
should be
called the sons of God.

i have been singing children's songs to myself all evening - preparing for the Bible classes for 1st-3rd graders I will begin to teach on Monday - as well as building my self esteem to sing acapella in front of the students. As I'm forced to consider the words that the students will not understand and then explain the song to them in words that they do understand - I have been struck by the depth of meaning in each of the songs.
What an amazing thought, that the Lord would call us His sons and daughters - that by nothing we have done, we receive such an incredible gift. So often it is easy to say to someone they are my sister or brother in Christ, and lose the actual meaning because these churchy words are so commonplace - but to actually think God has made us joint heirs along with Christ.. that God has brought us into His family.. what a privilege.. what a blessing.. to know that we will have family no matter where we go in the world - because God is God over ALL the world. and as far at the east is from the west, nothing can separate us from the love of God. can we even comprehend the enormity of what this means for our lives?

Dinner fun...

Erin, Cesia, Paola, and I had a dinner party - where Cesia and Paola taught us how to make a typical honduran meal (with home-made tortillas, of course! pollo, chismole, y salsa)! I can't tell you how many times they just laughed at Erin and me... tortilla-making isn't easy! The real challenge will be to see if Erin and I can make the same meal without them standing next to us... ha ha, um... I should have written it down. ;) No worries, by the time I come back to the States, I will be an expert tortilla maker! (and they taste so much better than the ones you buy in the store)

I often get frustrated because I want to talk with these girls about more meaningful things, but our conversations are so limited. Please pray that I will be diligent in making time to study Spanish, and that our relationships would deepen as our ability to communicate with each other improves.

This picture is of Cesia, Norman, and Paola standing in the central park in Ceiba. I met them at our church, Primera Iglesia Bautista, and they have become some of my closest friends here. They speak very little English - but they are helpful and patient with me as I blunder through my spanish (as long as I talk fast, it sounds good - who cares if it is wrong) ;) Every once in a while they practice a little English with me - and I appreciate it when I am the one doing the correcting for once.. :) I am so grateful for their friendship - as we are able to have fun together, as well as talk about the Lord. I am looking forward to continuing building our friendship!

life experiences...

So I am officially posting my life on the internet for everyone to see due to Ruth's recommendation. Yes, no more super long emails about my life - it is now your responsibility to check out this website if you want to know what is going on in my life. You could always call me as well, as Erin and I have a US phone in our apartment: 1-865-686-6399. Erin has been a great "companera de cuarto" and I am so thankful to have her to live life with. I can't believe that I've been in Honduras for 7 weeks - the time has flown by. The days are busy and I am constantly being pushed out of my comfort zone... whether it is teaching in classes (grades 1-6, with no training!), participating in dramas for youth evangelism/outreach, playing guitar and leading worship for our team worship, or por supuesto, speaking in Spanish (I am constantly battling the perfectionist in me to just jump in and say whatever and make errors and not worry about it, but learn from my mistakes.) I had the opportunity to go to Naval, a military school here in Ceiba, with the University Christian group - as they minister to the students training there. It was really great to be a part of a Honduran outreach, and they are already planning on me giving my testimony, helping with their one-on-one evangelism, and singing a song in English (HA! yeah right, joyful noises are not ment to be solos! This is the time I wish I had Dee-Dee or Rachel's voice!).
The Lord has blessed me with some amazing friends here - and I love our team. I am reminded once again that in the body of Christ I have family all over the world - and I have seen that here, as I've been welcomed into the hearts and homes of both missionaries and Hondurans here in Ceiba and around the country.
I hope you enjoy reading my updates and please respond - or email me (stephanieleecole@gmail.com) - because I would love to hear from you!
En Dios confio...

Me with my first teacher at Language school - Esther - who will have her first daughter any day now.. She gave me lots of advice on getting around Ceiba - and she was a great teacher! Look, I'm not sweating on this day (and wearing longer sleeves)! It must have only be 80* - but the cooler temperatures didn't last long!

floods

...and rainy season begins with a visit from Hurricane Beta..

When it rains, it pours.. and streets flood quickly.  Schools close often during this season for "code reds" - and people are left bailing out their houses.. and cars.

Hey everyone!
I can't believe October is almost over! Time has flown by here - as I realize that 5 weeks have gone by. Each week has held so much - and each has been so different. Quick recap: The first week was full of adjusting - and taking care of 4 boys for one of the missionary families for 4 days. The second week - Tom Stewart came down here and we spent the week with him. Tom is the head of MTWs Street Child ministry - so he was assessing our area and seeing the possibilities for starting the ministry here - we spent time going around to all the different ministries and locations we have things going one.. but I will talk more about the street child ministry later. Third week: We had meetings with Bill Yarbrough - the MTW director for ALL of Latin America. It was so great to talk with him - for me personally.. and for our team too.. we made up our team goals, our mission statement - and talked about how to practically get started. Forth week: Erin and I had the incredible opportunity to go to Copan Ruinas - for a conference about Honduras with a lot of the NGOs here working in Honduras - it was set up by www.projecthonduras.com - and we learned so much about what is going on in Honduras. We were able to network, learn how to do things more efficiently, and make contacts all over Honduras. It was not all work though - as I went with several friends to see the Mayan Ruins and go on a horse back ride up a mountain. I thought the ride would be nice and a chance to see beautiful scenery.. haha - no. We galloped some of the way up the mountain and the WHOLE way down it! I definitely learned to appreciate galloping over the "trot of death" - and we were all SO sore afterwards. It was an unforgettable experience - I am so thankful for the opportunity to go to Copan. Some of the facts I learned there - Honduras is the #1 leading country for AIDS/HIV, and the #2 country for poverty in the western hemisphere.. We rival many African countries for HIV/AIDS population, and are among the top 15 countries in the world. WOW. who knew. I learned that the biggest needs here are education and medical care - as the people need education to be productive individuals in society, but the most common problem that businesses have is that the few qualified workers they have can't stay healthy for long enough to be dependable. I met many amazing people who are involved in educating people - both scholastically and with health education - and while each life they touch makes a difference, there are SO many more that need help. (I would love to tell you more about this - so email me if you want to know more). The Lord spoke to me a lot during this conference - especially as I saw the needs of the people here so clearly, and how other people are working to meet those needs. The final thing I'll tell you from the conference is the missionary's equation for happiness:
reality * flexibility - expectations = happiness

So we returned from Copan last Sunday - and I FINALLY was able to being NORMAL life here in Ceiba. I feel as though the Lord has opened SO many doors - and I continually have to be faithful to step through them - and to have wisdom about how much to commit to. This past week - I began working at Brassavola Bilingual School. I am actually working with the administration right now - sitting in on the classes (grades 1-6) and assessing the teachers and students in the way the classroom is managed and how well/much they use English. I will be working there three days a week - and soon I will start my own class to help the students that have the most needs. I have been overwhelmed by what I've found in the classes - as far as how much is lacking.. but the students have impressed me with their politeness and respect. I LOVE walking around now and hearing a child say "Hi, Ms. Stephanie" when I'm in the mall, or having them run over and hug me. :) It is so easy to show these kids love - and to let them know they are important - which is the biggest struggle for a kid living in poverty - to think they are actually work something. Soon I will start teaching at the school, and then possibly begin a Bible class there (they really want it even though it isn't a Christian school! but I need to talk with them about the time commitment..) I work with 5 people from my church - so it is really fun to see them on a regular basis. I feel like I'm making many connections and friends my age here - through church and work. I have also met some high school aged girls who aren't Christians (Paoula and Jaclyn) that I am building relationships with - always the Young Life leader! Jaclyn is a 9th grader from Brassavola, and Paoula is a 11th grader that was kicked out of Brassavola. good times. :) This was the first week for me to complete 5 consecutive days of Spanish school - and on Thursday 5 of the teachers went over to the Noonan's house (one of the missionary families) along with Erin, myself, and 4 other missionary women - and we learned how to make corn and white flour tortillas by hand, frijoles fritos, y some salty CA cheese.. and had a big lunch party. IT was so fun. :)

Other doors the Lord has opened for me to be involved here - I am going to help a couple nurses once a week that work in villages around Ceiba - helping to aid them in their health care and with health education of the woman here. AND of course the Street Child ministry.. we have received the "go ahead" from MTW to begin this ministry - and now are in the process of becoming a NGO in Honduras. This process could be really slow or REALLY fast.. depending on who is in power and whatever they feel like doing. So we are meeting weekly to pray over this ministry and the girls that we will initially take in. We are currently investigating several housing options as well for where to have the house. We are trusting this ministry to the Lord's hands and in His timing.. and know that we don't want to get ahead of His plan.
So much is going on - but I LOVE being involved in the life here - and really feeling like a part of this community. I am constantly amazed at the authority and respect I have just because I am from the United States - and I realized that it is both a privilege and huge responsibility to be looked up to so highly. I realize that I have always had some grandiose idea of missions... but really it is just living your life before people - being a witness of Jesus' unconditional love and redemption. What I am doing here is not any different than any of you in the United States. I want to encourage you to continue to live your life before others wherever you are, knowing that they are looking at you and will wonder what makes you different - why you have peace and joy when there is no reason to have it - why you spend time investing into them when you could be doing millions of other things.. why you care about their lives - no matter how ugly or awful... "Whatever you do, in WORD or DEED, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus..."- so live as to establish credibility of the Christian faith so that you will be able to make the most of every opportunity that comes your way (Col. 3:17). I am reminded of where I'd be "sino fuera por Tu gracia y por Tu amor" - but for the grace and love of the Lord. What reason we have to give of ourselves - of our lives - to others.. for them to experience the same grace.. the same love. If you have any encouragement in Christ, any comfort of love, any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others as better than oneself. May the Lord be with you - my He speak to your heart and let you know how vast is His love.

Con todo de mi amor,
Stephanie

ps.you wouldn't believe HOW many people have the name Stephanie here! I think there is at least one girl in every class I have been in at Brassavola.. who knew it was so popular!

Copan, Honduras

Standing in the square in Copan, Honduras. I definitely recommend visiting this place!  We were able to go horse-back riding in the afternoon - galloping up and down a mountain to a little village on top where they sold handmade corn husk dolls (their only source of income) was definitely a unique experience.. and one that left us sore for days!

Visiting the Mayan ruins in Copan - we made some great friends from Roatan - and had an unforgettable experience at the conference with projecthonduras.com.  We are standing in front of the same view found on the Honduran Lempira (dollar)

Erin and I eating our "desayuno typico" to start our day off right in Copan Ruinas. :)

Our MTW team at Pico Bonito, just outside of La Ceiba

it's been 2 weeks in Ceiba

Steph and Erin visiting Mission of Hope and playing with all the ninos

Hola!
I hope that you all are doing well! Life in Ceiba, Honduras has been very different - each day holding new experiences. I am grateful that it hasn't been very hard for me to adjust to this culture - probably because I expected it to be really different (especially when I thought I would be going to Guanaja)... but being in the city, I am not without a lot of conveniences that I have at home: microwave, tv, internet, frig, AC in my room at night, etc... I have become proficient at getting around, and I have learned my way around the city -so I can walk or take a taxi, depending on how far and how much time i have... I prefer to walk, but I feel safer in a taxi. When I'm walking around, men constantly make comments "mi amor" or make noises at us.. but most of the time it is harmless and I don't pay them any attention. Being here has really given me an appreciation for Latinos in the US - as I am in the minority, I speak a different language (most of the time)... it has really been a good experience.. and I will definitely be more tolerant of people who come into the US and do not speak much English.
My apartment-mate (Erin Troxler) has been great - I can't imagine being here alone, I am grateful for another single girl my age. Soon two guys in their twenties will be coming to join the team (in Nov and Dec) so we are excited for more "friends" to hang out with. We are also making some Honduran friends in Language school and hopefully we will have the girls over for dinner soon. Erin has been really homesick and depressed - and I know she would appreciate your prayers. I recently have been really frustrated because this experience has been nothing like I imagined it to be. I have been thinking "what is a missionary" and "why am I here?" - because I didn't feel like I really had a purpose to be here in Ceiba. The MTW team in Ceiba is new - our presence began a year ago - so the team is what is called an "advanced team" - which means we are here to explore where possible mercy ministries could be set up with the possibility of church planting - or if we can work alongside an already established church for some mercy ministry. So the leadership and families aren't doing much (besides a ministry to taxi drivers) and a lot of "feeling it out". It was a really unexpected discovery for Erin, the Guzman family, and me - as we were all origionally destined for Guanaja and just recently moved to the La Ceiba team. I think some good things are starting... and I realize that I have to be really proactive in my involvement in this culture and ministry here. I already feel as though I've been useful to the team, just in suggesting different ways to do things as a team.
SO what am I doing? Well, in the mornings I go to Central American Spanish School - an intensive one-on-one school... so hopefully my spanish will improve drastically while I'm here (even though I've surprised myself and my teammated with the spanish I already know!). Erin and I lead worship for our team worship meetings... talk about a stretch of my comfort zone! But it is a blessing to the missionaries here to be able to have live worship in English every once in a while.
What about the Orphanage? I went out to Ninos de la Luz - and while I was there I really didn't feel like that is where I need to invest my time. The orphanage is for all boys - ages 5-16 - and it is really well run. Erin and Brian (missionaries with MTW) will be working there - and I felt like my time could be better spent elsewhere. I have been praying about where to invest myself, and this afternoon an opportunity to work in a Christian bilingual school - a school for poorer families -fell in my lap. The group that runs this school is called "Disciple Makers" - and the missionary asked me to play my guitar and teach the childern fun songs like Father Abraham... any suggestions? :) She said that they have such a need for help that I could be used in many different ways - really whatever I feel up for. I will help give make-up tests, so teachers don't have to take time away from their classes, I will help tutor English, and I may pick up teaching a science class to third graders.. It is up in the air right now - but I will keep you updated. I am excited about this opportunity.
I also really have it on my heart to help start the street child ministry for the girls in Ceiba. The orphanages are primarily for males, so the girls have no where to go. Last weekend some of the missionaries and I were walking downtown and we saw a boy laying on the pavement ahead of us... I knew he was homeless, and I thought "oh he's just resting there because he has no where else to rest".. but as we got closer, I saw that his eyes were wide open, staring blankly into the sky, and there were flies on his lips and face - and he just laid there... still, with a brown paper bag not too far from his fallen hand. I think the was the saddest and worst thing I have ever seen... I thought to myself "oh Lord, no.. he's dead.." and when we said something, Cathy (our team leader's wife) looked and saw his chest rise. She told us that he was just really stoned and pointed out the paper bag. She told us that that is what the street boys do - they get SO high that they go unconcenscious - and they do it over and over again so they don't have to feel hunger, or worry about life.. or be bored.. But there is places that grab those guys off the street. The girls - we don't seem them out during the day like the guys - they come out at night and prostitute themselves in order to survive. It is so awful - and then some thirteen year old girl prostitute then has a baby that she can't care for. Cathy and I both have a heart for those girls - and so we are looking to partner with the church we attend (Primera Iglesia Bautista) and start a day house for the girls. Please be in prayer that the Lord will open doors for us and that we will take actual steps to start this ministry.
Something I've learned here is that EVERYTHING is out of my control... and the only thing I can do is rely on Christ and remain faithful to what He has called me to do. He has reminded me that I am to make known in Honduras what He has done (Psalms 105:1) - and that these ministries that I am getting involved with are just tools to do that.
I've also realized that I am in a third world country - and I have to be willing to GIVE UP some of the things I have at home in order to be here.. but the Lord has really laid Phil 2:1-4* on my heart - and that living here with the ANTS in my kitchen is part of this experience. I am just thankful that thus far I haven't found any turanchelas!
I guess this email is ridiculously long.. and if you've made it this far - thanks for being interested to read this much!


*If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being likeminded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others. Phil 2:1-4

**For it is God who works in you to WILL and to ACT according to his good purpose. Phil 2:13

Erin and I flying into San Pedro Sula and waiting for the Guzman's to pick us up - do you think we have enough baggage? (only three of the bags  actually are mine.. ;)