con amor

For my last 6 days in Honduras, Mom and I traveled to Ceiba - and we brought along Raquel for the first couple of days to give her another view of Honduras from the Island. It was so wonderful to be back in this place - and to see and share life with people that forever hold a special place in my heart.
Some of my most special time in Honduras was spent at my Honduran family's house ("mi familia catracha"). We have mutually adopted each other... and every time I visit Ceiba, I make the hour long bus trip to Armenia Bonito - a village behind Ceiba's airport - to visit them. We (Mom, Raquel, and I) enjoyed piecing together a couple rompecabezas (puzzles) this time - they definitely took a while as one was 550 pieces and the other was 1000 pieces! I am not sure they are used to spending so much time doing something like that - but it was definitely a challenge for us all!I can't get over how much they had grown and changed in the 14 months I have been away - but at the same time, they are still the same sweet, fun-loving family that so generously open their home and all they have to me and whomever else I bring with me out to spend time with them. :)

My family also challenged me with being able to ride their horse - La Gringa. What a name! I told them that I would be able to do it - which I am not so sure they believed.. and had a good time impressing them with my horseback-riding abilities - galloping around Armenia Bonito. I think my family was scared for my life - but I was having a great time... :)
My mother was able to spend time in the "kitchen" with Maria (the honduran mother) and they made some tortillas together. :) Mom then decided she should buy Maria a tortilla press, which the bestowed upon Maria in our last time together, since that is what my mom likes to use to make tortillas of her own. I can't help but wonder if she uses it now, I like to think so as it would make her work go so much quicker.
Another special memory was with Maria's oldest daughter, Dania.She is graduating from high school this December and currently working in her tourism practicum at a hotel just down the road from where we were spending the night. Dania spent the night with my mom and I - and so I took her out for a "night on the town" - to dinner and a movie. It was so fun - and she told me it was one of the best nights of her life... which made my own heart so happy. I love that I have been able to give of myself and whatever I have for even the short amount of time I have - and use it to show others that they are loved and cared about by me.. and more importantly, by our Heavenly Father.

Leaving my family was a tearful event for all of us, but I have the assurance that as much as I care about them, Jesus cares even more - and I entrust them to Him. I thank the Lord for the opportunities I had while in Honduras to build new friendships, see old friends, and deepen relationships that I have been able to maintain from a distance.Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Galatians 6:9-10

how time flies...

This week has been so rewarding and my only complaint is that time is going by so quickly. I will give a quick rundown of things that stand out from this past week:

Sunday: We said goodbye to two nurses from Arizona, Mireya and Virginia. They were sweet friends and such assets to the work here, and are greatly missed. I spent a lot of this day just taking the time to relax, catch up on work, and get to know the people around me more.

Monday: Another day to make the usual monday/wednesday trek to French Harbor to tutor in the morning. I then came back to find my friend from Ceiba, Cesia, who was on the island for the day to visit with me. She will be away while I'm in Ceiba, so I was SO GLAD she came to visit me. It was so refreshing spending the day with this girl who will always hold a special place in my heart!We then met up with another of our Ceibaña friends, Lorraine, to have dinner together. I remember looking at them that night and thinking about how much I appreciate their friendship - and all that we've been through together in the past - and how I don't know when we will ever see each other again, this side of Heaven. I truly am able to see and feel such a strong bond that we share as sisters in Christ- we are family even though we come from different backgrounds - and I am forever be grateful for their friendship.

Tuesday: My friend, Raquel, and I woke up early to go to the government hospital in Coxen Hole. This is where many of the poor people on the island go for their health care. I am finding it difficult to put into words all that I saw there, and Raquel and I took quite a while to process it all and are still overwhelmed by the conditions in this hospital. Overall, the place was dirty, using reject equipment, and complete with furry friends... cats.. and rats.

When I was leaving - I asked the taxi driver what he thought of the hospital. He said “Es bueno.” – its good. So I wanted to make sure he understood me – and said – “I mean, do you think it has good service? It is clean? Etc” – and again, he said that it was all very good. Just for kicks, I decided to ask how much a consultation costs – and he told me 5 Lempira (the exchange rate is 19 Lempira to 1 dollar). And then it hit me – I am looking at this place from US standards, and if at home these people have dirt floors and scraps of wood and whatever else they can find to make up their houses, of course this is good conditions – at least the floor is some sort of cement! They have no running water in their houses, so why should they expect it in the hospital? And they get seen there for their illnesses at a price they can afford. Relatively speaking, of course this would be a good place.

How sad.
I can’t help but think about John Rawls – and the decent minimum of health care that is so easy to demand and speak idealistically about in the comforts of the UVA’s fine facilities. Is health care a right or a privilege? And do we consider only our own borders or the entire globe as members of a community that interacts and impacts one another? As I have done the surveys in La Colonia, almost everyone said they go to the Hospital Roatan for their care – mostly because that is what they have always done - and they don’t know that there is something better that is offered. I understand why Peggy was moved to offer something more, something better than what the hospital provided. I understand her vision and desire for what the clinic could one day be and how it could revolutionize health care on the island. And, most importantly – I see the value of what I have at home and am so very grateful.

I can not help but think of how privileged I am – to be from the US, to have an excellent education, to be so powerful. I am challenged by the responsibility I feel to use all that I have wisely –my knowledge and skills- to make a difference and empower the lives of those around me. I look into tired eyes and smiling faces and my heart is moved for a people so poor and yet so happy. I can not believe that THIS is reality for them. There is no – going home – to get clean and wear nice clothes and do fun relaxing things.. This is their life – and the hope is that they will maybe someday have a job, test negative for AIDS, and keep a spouse that doesn’t have another family somewhere else on the island.

ok - so much for a short update....

Wednesday: My last day to tutor - it was sad to say goodbye to the student, as I feel almost a sense of personal responsibility for her - and so much want to help see her succeed in her education. I do hope that she will continue in the tutor program - as education is the key to further themselves and make a lasting difference in the lives of teenagers on this island.
After tutoring, Raquel and I took Lorraine out to lunch for her birthday. I was thankful to be able to treat my friend on this special day - and I see how important it is to make th most of the time we have with the people are in front of us at that moment.Of course, I miss all of my family and friends back home (and around the world) - but I am thankful for this specific opportunity to share my life and love with the Hondurans.

Thursday: I completed my last day of surveys in the clinic (about whether or not patients understand their diagnosis and meds) - and now have the task to compile the information to present tomorrow morning in the staff meeting.

Tomorrow is my last day in Roatan, and then I head to Ceiba until Wednesday when I return to the States. I continue to learn so much and feel as though I cannot begin to fully grasp all that am experiencing – but as I soak in each day and each smile – I know that, once again, I will be forever changed.

not all work...

I have been able to jump in and get involved with a lot - but it hasn't been all work. I have spent time talking with other volunteers, playing games (especially when the power goes out!), getting "pimped" (quizzed) by other healthcare workers :) , visiting friends, playing on the beach......and -of course- MISSING Jarrod!
I continue to see the vast needs here - and sometimes it can be so overwhelming - but I know that even the small amount that I can help and offer myself for the short time I am here - it may make a difference for some individual lives... and definitely makes a difference in mine!

la Colonia

Just to follow up from the last post - the church service in La Colonia was wonderful. I went there with a nurse from Arizona, Mireya. We went to La Colonia early to play with kids, tell them about Jesus and invite them to church with us.We sat down, noticing the room off the side of the church where a lot of adults were praying... and then just before the service started, two of the girls we had talked to came to sit by me. :) We sang songs for an hour - some of them I knew, some I could figure out with all the repeating, and others I just listened to and prayed during... at one point I looked over at the little girl next to me and saw her singing with her eyes closed - and my heart moved for her and I couldn't help but smile. After a while I looked at her again, and she was in the same reverent stance, and before thinking, I reached up and put my arm around her, and felt her little arm wrap back around me. As I looked around, during worship and the message - the church was filled with women and children.. and then I looked behind me to see lots of young men and women... and then I looked outside (this church is only half built...) and saw many men standing outside. Mireya and I caught a ride home - and now I am left with sweet memories, a closeness to the Lord from a Spanish experience, and several mosquito bites. One of my friends has come down with dengue that she caught in La Colonia, and so I pray that I don't get it - as, other than bug spray, there is nothing you can do to prevent it. :/

I have continued to spend a lot of time in La Colonia - doing public health surveys, playing with kids, painting girls' fingernails, talking to them about Jesus, and even having a "Kids Club" today. The Lord really opened doors for us - so that even while were were just beginning to dream up something to do with the kids - we passed someone we knew who had the authority and connections to provide us with the Kindergarden building in La Colonia to use for our time with the kids. Today, Raquel (a medical student volunteer), Mireya, and I (along with my mother) taught the kids about our hearts and having Christ in our hearts... and I still smile as I remember them singing songs like "Cristo me ama". It was so fun to see so many familiar faces at our kids club today!I have been blessed by developing sweet friendships with Raquel and Mireya, coming to know families in La Colonia, and of course, spending more time with Peggy. This continues to be an incredible experience, and I am so thankful to have the opportunity to spend time here!

los ninos

Today I went with two other Spanish speaking nurses to La Colonia to complete community surveys about health and medical related questions - all information that will be used in data for grants for La Clinica.There is no water in La Colonia - so someone has to go to fill up water in jugs to take it to their houses for drinking, washing, and other sanitary purposes. Here is a photo of two boys pushing heavy jugs of water up a hill to their house. We saw many more people carrying huge jugs and buckets of water to their house.here are some more pictures from the day:Tonight we are going to a church service in La Colonia - and spent the day inviting everyone to meet us there :) Hopefully they will come!

Bienvenidos a Honduras

Welcome BACK to Honduras! I am so glad to have returned, and so soon!  I am in the middle of nursing school, completing a graduate degree in Clinical Nurse Leadership - and was able to connect the University of Virginia with Nurse Peggy's clinic in Roatan for an International Community Health experience.  My mom decided to come with me to volunteer her psychiatry knowledge in the clinic as well.  I am not sure what project I will do here - but I am looking forward to these next three weeks and the different view I will get of being in this country through the lens of nurse.

So, after a sleepless night and two flights - my mother and I made it to Roatan in one piece. It is amazing how familiar sights and sounds are here... how there are little things that I forgot about - like the ant trails in your house or the trash thrown about on the ground... the sound of spanish rolling off of the tongue or the "every man for himself" driving... :) I am surprised at how well I am tolerating the heat - it feels much more natural and I prefer this to the cold AC.... (I say that now...)
Coming back, there is a certain feeling of coming home - this is such a special place in my heart - and all the more I long to go to Ceiba once again.
Already, we have eaten baleadas.. watched dolphins perform... caught a crab in the sink... got bitten by bugs... made some new friends while maintaining old friendships.

It is wonderful to be back in this country... for all of the difficult things about it, for all the wonderful people and sights and sounds... all that it is, I love it.

that's all folks!

So this is officially my last blog - as I have not done such a good job keeping it up since I've been back from Honduras! (which I must blame on dial-up internet, my computer crashing, and losing my user name and password for a while)

I find myself these days singing in Spanish as I am working - songs like "Yo se que estas aqui" and "Cuando levanto mis manos" - that help make the time go by quicker as well as speak to my heart while I am riding around the golf course. I actually am really enjoying working outside - the guys all allow me to play the "girl card" a lot while I'm working :) but I have also proven to pull my weight and I think they are glad to have me around. Which is good.. Since I'll be around for a while longer. The younger guys I work with all tell me that I am the favorite of the older guys. Haha. Of course I am :) I am cuter! Jk.
It is challenging for me to take the lifestyle I lived in Honduras - living to love and serve others.. To show them Christ's love.. And incorporating it into my daily life here as I do mundane tasks, or at work surrounded by a bunch of.. Well, blue collar workers. (not that that is a bad thing, but they definitely are a different crowd from what I am used to!) I do work hard, as unto the Lord.

As I reflect back on my time in Honduras - those who are closest to my heart are most prominent in my memories... my family in Armenia Bonito, my students from Brassavola, and many good friends... I entrust them to the Lord - knowing that He cares about them even more than I do. It is easy for me to feel helpless, with all the problems that there are - not being able myself to offer solutions as the roots of all the problems spread nationwide - or even global.. And again, I entrust it to the Lord.. knowing what more specifically to pray for as I think about Honduras and many other countries like it.
Life is so different here - and it is easy to get so pinched down with day to day life to forget the larger picture.. That there is a world out there full of hurts and needs, full of passion and energy, full of intelligence and new ideas, full of love yet lacking Love at the same time... It is easy to forget as I am getting up early for work or while brushing my teeth that there is a GOD who is so big, so powerful, so holy.. Who is at work in ME, who is at work in the world, who is at work in the community around me. And my challenge now is to continue to look for Him around me, to join Him where He is working, and to be faithful to that which He places in my path.

My heart remains in Honduras, for what purpose? I do not know.. but I do know that my life will be forever changed because of my experiences - both good and bad - that have proven to open my eyes and teach me so much about people, the world, different cultures, and our Holy Lord who is God over all the Earth!

May you continue to learn and grow in Him - May you follow Him with all your heart, no matter where He leads you, trusting our Heavenly Father with your life, safety, and well being.

a final thought from a great man:
"If Jesus Christ be God, and died for me, then no sacrifice is too great for me to give for Him."

missing Ceiba

I miss Honduras. I miss Ceiba. I miss baleadas and pastelitos. I miss drinking from bags. I miss the palm trees. I miss taxi drivers. oh wait, no I don't! But I do miss my students... and my friends and my family in Armenia Bonito!

It is easy for me to get caught up in life here -in consumerism, in the fast pace- and forget what I learned about the world.. that it is so much bigger than the United States. It is easy to forget that there are people out there, and within our own country, that are intelligent and gifted but don't have the resources or access to prosper. It is easy to forget how lucky I am to have all that I do, clean water, clothes, safety, a car, a family that loves me... it is easy to forget how the Lord was faithful to me as I followed Him to a foreign land - do I think He will not continue to be the Same Lord here?

It has been an interesting "readjustment" time for me - as I hit the ground running. I immediately began taking summer classes and working... and only very slowly have I had time to process my past 8 months in Honduras. I have been hit hard with "culture shock" as I travel around Virginia. I do love being back, to be with my family and be a part of my loved-ones lives here. I cherish this time that the Lord has given me to be with them, knowing that He could call me to go somewhere else - and if/when He does - I will go. No matter what, no matter where.
It is the Jonah principle. If I don't obey God, I might end up in the belly of a whale! Who wants that?! ;)

I am contemplating when exactly to stop writing blogs, as this was titled La Ceiba - and purposed to chronical my experiences and adventures there. I will let you know when I write my last post! I promise. I still want to write at least one more reflection - perhaps more for my benefit than for your amusement!

:) So I am back in the States! and I have a cell phone again. SO You should stop reading this and call me!

Saying Goodbye...

During my last two days in Ceiba, I was able to visit with the friends and students that have left such a mark on my life and my heart. At Brassavola, my students would hug and kiss me and say "No te vayas, Ms. Estefani!" and "You are such a good teacher, who will teach us about God?" It just didn't seem sufficient to say, "I'll be back to visit!" It is hard because I realize the need for consistancy in their lives - but I was able to leave knowing that the Lord has other plans for me right now. (however if anyone wants to contribute to the "Stephanie's next visit to Honduras" fund - you are welcome!) ha. I am definitely going back in the next year, I just have to see what my schedule allows...

I had my last "typica comida Hondurena" dinner with Cesia, Tamy, and Paola (and brought Mary along because we were attatched at the hip for the past three weeks...) We had a great time laughting and talking... They all have such a heart to serve the Lord!

I was able to spend time with my family, the Madrids, in Armenia Bonito the day before I left. Mary and I had always teased about putting our names on the wall because the youngest, Jeisy, had written her name all over the house... so on my last trip out there - we painted our names :) I think it turned out rather nice, don't you? ;) It was cute to see the kids copying us.. while their parents looked on approvingly - happy about the "memoria" that they will have of me while I'm away. We played jump rope and my family gave me home-made maracas :) made by Vidal (the father) and painted by Angela and Jessica... I will cherish them forever - along with all the beautiful memories we've made together!
My goodbyes were full of "see you soon"and "keep in touch" instead of tearful.

Honduras has a special place in my heart - for the people I know and love, for the beauty of the country, for the work the Lord has done in my life and the lives of those around me...

beautiful Roatan

Mary and I had a fabulous time in Roatan these past few days - kayaking, sorkeling, playing with dolphins, laying on amazing beaches, and of course - saying goodbye to good friends there. I love it in Roatan - not only because it is SO beautiful there - but also because it is so peaceful, and I come away feeling refreshed. I definitely recommend it as a vacation spot (just make sure you bring bug spray and sun screen.. and you'll be set!) The Heavens declare the glory of God... que barbaridad!

El Gran Carnaval de La Ceiba 2006

This week there has been all sorts of festivities going on in Ceiba.. it is the week where the milk company, Leyde, has a rodeo/fair of sorts that lasts for a week long AND it is the week of Carnaval - so every day there were different events and each night a "Carnavalito" in different locations around the city. There are special stands all over the city selling stuff - and there has been so many more people out and about. Tonight is the actual Gran Carnaval Internacional de La Amistad - as well as one of the final futbol games being played in the city. I have kept my participation to a minimum - just going to one carnavalito for a little bit with Bill and Emily Noonan, and then going to the massive parade today. It started around 2:30 - and at 4:30 it was still going strong. I am honestly not sure how long it lasted but I heard that it did until 5:30 or 6pm.
About an hour before the parade started - we decided to walk down the street, Ave. San Isidro, to see all the stands of food and gifts - and a TON of Mardi Gras beads being sold and tossed everywhere! The man in the picture below decided to get in our picture with us.. it was random - but everyone was in such good spirits on the street!

here are some more fun pictures from the parade: Here is the Mayor, Dr. Simon, and Ms. Honduras - kicking off the parade - the mayor said "Hola" to me as he walked by. don't I feel special. ;) and then later the President of Honduras, Mel something, came by on horse back and waved at us.. yes, that is the president.. can you find me in this picture? (look on the right side...) And yes, those pin wheels are cleverly stuck into a head of cabbage for such an exciting display... There were a TON of horses prancing around and doing all sorts of crazy tricks..

there were so many fun floats and bands.. I could have done without the half-naked women and men dancing... but overall it was really fun and I'm glad I went! I have NEVER seen that many people on the streets and I can only imagine what the party is like tonight...

believe it or not, watching the parade in the hot sun was exhausting even though we were just standing there.. I am definitely ready for some rest tonight before I go to Roatan tomorrow and then return to say my goodbyes..

the sprint

falta 10 dias...

so much to do, in so little time... that doesn't even begin to describe how I feel right now. Waves of saddness hit me throughout the days as I am coming nearer and nearer to my departure from Honduras. I am really trying to take each moment captive - and i think that by the end of the month I will be ready to sleep for a couple days!

I've been so busy these past several days - and am looking to continue to spend each day I have left here with my friends in Armenia Bonito, from my church, teachers from the Spanish school and from Brassavola, with my students, with other missionaries here... soaking up as much as I can and giving all that I have in these last 10 days. (and perhaps seeing what all the hoopla is about the Carnaval this coming Saturaday)

This past weekend was fabulous - Mary and I went out to Cayos Cochinos - some islands just off the coast of Honduras. These islands are barely inhabited paradises - full of natural beauty, amazing coral reefs, and pink boaconstricters. :) We were blessed to stay the night with a wonderful older couple who live on the largest little island - and only had a few surprise animalitos in our beds. I have so many good memories from there - swimming, snorkeling, hiking in flipflops, watching the sunset, and talking around the table...

we would have liked to stay for more than 24 hours, but we had to get back to Ceiba because we promised that we would spend the night in Armenia Bonito with my family. This was an adventure, for sure! We went played with the kids in the afternoon - jumping rope, playing volleyball... then we went to a "culto" - or a revival-type service - and finally went back home to continue our slumber-party. Walking into their house I was only surprised by a few animals - but seeing the spiders and rats made me a little nervious about what else could be crawling around... We ate some more food and danced around a little bit before we went to bed - with the girls sleeping in the parents' bedroom and the guys sleeping in the kids bedroom. I ended up sleeping with Jessica and Jeisy on a little twin mattress on the floor, while Mary and Angela (the mom) slept on the double bed in the room. We slept in a little room with a wood shutter covering any windows and I had two little girls snuggling up on me... I have never been so hot in my life! But it was a special time to share with their family - and I am so glad that we were able to be a part of their worship service and see their life at times when I normally wouldn't. this was the friend I found when walking into the kitchen... the other one apparently ran off... Angela is sewing the family's clothes for the culto.. here we are sitting on the bench before the service began...

The next morning, Mother's day, Mary and I left Armenia Bonito by 9ish to come back to Ceiba.. and I have to say I have NEVER been on a bus that full. We were grateful to be some of the first ones on - because we were able to get a seat on the bus near the front.. todo el mundo wanted to go to Ceiba for church or shopping or something - and I remember watching 10 more people try to fit on the bus that already had people hanging out the door. CRAZY. We finally made it into town in time to buy a flower for our host moms here in Ceiba - then parted ways.. I made it to the Noonan's house in time to try to call my moms and take a shower (where I scrubbed and scrubbed...) and then turned around, got back out on the bus and headed to another village, Colonia Confite. There, my friend Diana had invited me out to spend the afternoon and evening with her - as her church had a special service for the Mothers. I really enjoyed meeting her family and seeing where she lived - as we normally just hang out together in Ceiba... I hope to make it back out to her house before I leave... Diana's friendship has meant so much to me - as we have been about to really spur one another on in our walk with Christ.

Today I spent the day with Dania, the 16 year old daughter of Angela from Armenia Bonito. We went shopping to buy a comal (so I can make really good homemade tortillas) and a little Bible for her, took professional pictures (SO CHEAP here, and a little cheesey with school picture backdrops from the early 90s), made CDs of Spanish praise music on my computer.. and just enjoyed each other. I have loved being able to encourage her and live my life before her as a young Christian woman. (below is a picture of Dania, Mary and me)
I have found that I am STILL frustrated with Spanish - as the more I am around people and have varying conversations the more vocabulary I realize I don't know.. and that is discouraging... Pray that regardless of my frustrations, I will be able to make the most of every opportunity that the Lord brings my way in the time I have remaining in Honduras.